To cultivate intimacy, learn and study the keys for a successful relationship. Know what your soul requires, not just what you want. What your soul requires is not optional, what you want can change with age and wisdom.
Identify your top twenty values and choose someone who shares them. Select someone who is committed to growth and development. They will be more likely to seek and accept help during a relationship crisis.
Also, maintain your autonomy. Becoming too attached to the relationship can cause us to lose our self-respect and self-love. People must find ways to meet this and other needs even when their lives are full with children, friends, family or life partners.
Most importantly, consciously choose a great communicator or someone who is willing to work on becoming a more effective communicator. This includes the ability to compromise on the most difficult and unpleasant issues. A win-win attitude will not allow both people to get their needs met.
Finally, be an example of what you want. Seek to give rather than to receive. Provide an affectionate touch, actively listen, make eye contact, make your hellos and good-byes meaningful and try to understand your partner. Before pointing the finger and talking about how you’re not getting what you want, ask yourself if you’re giving it. Lead by example.
Melvin is married and he is a life coach, speaker and facilitator specializing in relationships and personal growth. Melvin has been a guest on radio and television, and he co-hosted "Relationships 911," in L.A. He is currently pursuing a Ph.D. in Psychology, and he has a M.A. in Spiritual Psychology from USM. He has facilitated hundreds of seminars for singles and for couples. MelvinandSherrie.com, 310-248-2733.
Identify your top twenty values and choose someone who shares them. Select someone who is committed to growth and development. They will be more likely to seek and accept help during a relationship crisis.
Also, maintain your autonomy. Becoming too attached to the relationship can cause us to lose our self-respect and self-love. People must find ways to meet this and other needs even when their lives are full with children, friends, family or life partners.
Most importantly, consciously choose a great communicator or someone who is willing to work on becoming a more effective communicator. This includes the ability to compromise on the most difficult and unpleasant issues. A win-win attitude will not allow both people to get their needs met.
Finally, be an example of what you want. Seek to give rather than to receive. Provide an affectionate touch, actively listen, make eye contact, make your hellos and good-byes meaningful and try to understand your partner. Before pointing the finger and talking about how you’re not getting what you want, ask yourself if you’re giving it. Lead by example.
Melvin is married and he is a life coach, speaker and facilitator specializing in relationships and personal growth. Melvin has been a guest on radio and television, and he co-hosted "Relationships 911," in L.A. He is currently pursuing a Ph.D. in Psychology, and he has a M.A. in Spiritual Psychology from USM. He has facilitated hundreds of seminars for singles and for couples. MelvinandSherrie.com, 310-248-2733.
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